afghanistan...God's plan for you may vary

Before I post anything here, I have to say...I think the poster above is pretty darn funny, even though I am going to use it to remind myself of something important. This poster has circulated around military circles for a couple years now, and anyone who has spent any time in Iraq or Afghanistan knows just how true the poster is. There are two distinct groups here, those who do the dirty work 'outside the wire', and those who support them.

The picture on the right depicts my last deployment, while the picture on the left is closer to me this time around, although I don't care too much for coffee shops here on Bagram.

It's difficult enough to leave home for a year. Missing holidays, weddings and watching your kids grow into little people in pictures is not easy. But I must say, during the past few weeks it's been almost equally difficult to resign myself to the fact that I am a member of the Brigade Staff, and my association with the poster above is fixed on the left side.

I think maybe more than anything, I was almost beginning to feel guilty about this. I know well what the guys outside the wire are going though with the daily grind of patrols, and I empathize with them to the point that I want to be back with them.

While feeling sorry for myself about this the other day I remembered a blog post I wrote 3 months ago at Camp Shelby, I went back and read it, and it has brought some of this back into perspective. I wrote..."I believe I have been placed in a unique position from which I have the ability to affect others for the good of Christ."

The perspective I regained is that I can't have it both ways. I can't resign myself to my belief that I am here for a reason, and then feel sorry for myself about how God intends for me to fulfill those duties. Either I subject myself to the belief that I left home as part of a bigger plan and fully submit to God's will, or I don't. Darn that's hard to do. Your prayers that I maintain this perspective are appreciated.